Your Tongue Misused? Offer A Genuine Apology!
It is safe to say that everyone struggles with the misuse of their tongue sometimes. Therefore, in this post I want to look at the ways in which we use our tongue. It can cause a great deal of harm that can sometimes seem irrepairable! Consequently, we need to “Offer A Genuine Apology!” This will go a long way towards reconciliation!
Offer A Genuine Apology! And Accept Responsibility for your wrong words, your outbursts. If you don’t or won’t, admit your mistakes, it will most likely destroy your relationships.
Further Reading: Angry Outbursts Destroy Love and Erect Walls!
We all stumble, we all wish we could take our words back sometimes. Sadly, when we speak in anger – without thinking about our words- we are piercing another’s soul. What a horrible thought that is!
Here is a good visual that I have seen using a tube of toothpaste that illustrates the difficulty of retrieving harmful words we sometimes say.
When toothpaste is squeezed from a tube and you then try to put that toothpaste back in the tube, you realize it is pretty much impossible.
We know the saying – “What goes up, must come down,” but in this case what came out does not just go back in! To be sure, our words are very much like this squeezed out toothpaste.
So, what are we to do when we find ourselves in this situation? Offer A Genuine Apology!
To be sure, misuse of the tongue can be both in what we say and what we do not say. So, offer a genuine apology for harmful words – it’s absolutely essential!
Why is a genuine apology essential?
When one’s sense of right is violated, that person will experience anger. He or she will feel wronged and resentful at the person who has violated their trust. The wrongful act stands as a barrier between the two people, and the relationship is fractured. They cannot, even if they desired, live as though the wrong had not been committed. Something inside the offended calls for justice. It is these human realities that serve as the basis for all judicial systems. Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas
The need for apologies permeates all human relationships. Marriage, parenting, dating, and vocational relationships all require apologies. Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas
A genuine apology is not just:
1. Expressing Regret – “I’m sorry”
A genuine apology should also include:
2. Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong”
3. Making Restitution- “What can I do to make it right?”
4. Genuinely Repenting- “I’ll try not to do that again.”
5. Requesting Forgiveness – Will you please forgive me?”
These 5 steps to a good apology are taken from “The Five Languages of Apology” How to experience Healing in All your Relationships by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. I highly recommend this book for everyone – we all need to learn how to apologize genuinely!
James made these comparisons about the tongue: James 3:3-5
- the tongue is like a raging fire in its ability to damage.
- the tongue is like a very small rudder on a ship which can steer the direction of a ship even in strong winds.
- the tongue can not be tamed in the same way as man tames all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures. The tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
Some ways we misuse our tongue is by gossiping, putting others down, bragging, manipulating, lying, teaching lies, exaggerating, complaining and flattering. James 3: 9-12 talks about how from the same mouth come blessing and cursing and this should not be!
The tongue can corrupt the whole person, set the whole course of his life on a destructive path. Proverbs 18:21 Only God, as we submit our lives to Him, by His power enables us to control our tongue. Ephesians 4:29
To Conclude with, here are some Bible Verses that speak about controlling the tongue rather than misusing it:
Proverbs 15:28 ;
Proverbs 21:23;
Colossians 3:8;
Colossians 4:6
Psalm 119:11; Ephesians 4:31-32;
Proverbs 15:1-4; 1 Peter 3:10
Prayer of Response:
Holy God, as I come into your presence right now, I confess that, undoubtedly, I have misused my tongue at times and have caused harm to others.
I know that words can not be taken back but I can offer a genuine apology and ask You and them for forgiveness.
I pray pride will not stand in the way of me making my heart right with you and anyone I have harmed by my words.
Psalm 119:57-60 expresses the desire of my heart and I pray that will always be so.
I pray in the Wonderful name of Jesus.
Amen
Enjoy this worshipful prayer by Fernando Ortega