What is Marriage?
In order to answer the question, “Would Jesus attend a gay wedding?” It is important to examine the definition and concept of marriage and then the reason for the wedding ceremony.
For the Christian, marriage is more than just a relationship. It is not the result of man’s thinking. God established, ordained, defined and designed marriage as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman. It is unlike any other relationship because it is the only relationship where the two- husband-(Male) and wife (Female)- become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Therefore any other ceremony that does not fall into this definition, is not a marriage in the sight of God. Man does not get to redefine Marriage.
Quote by Adrian Rogers:
It is better to be divided by truth that to be united by error.
It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals, than to speak falsehood that comforts but then kills.
It is not love and it is not friendship if we fail to declare the whole counsel of God.
It is better to be hated for telling the truth than to be loved for telling a lie.
It is better to stand alone with the truth than to be wrong with the multitude.
Should a Christian attend any event that gives affirmation to sin?
Mike Ross in his article, MARRIAGE: WHAT IT IS, WHY IT MATTERS, AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF REDEFINING IT describes marriage this way:
Marriage is based on the truth that men and women are complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the reality that children need a mother and a father. Redefining marriage does not simply expand the existing understanding of marriage; it rejects these truths. Marriage is society’s least restrictive means of ensuring the well-being of children. By encouraging the norms of marriage—monogamy, sexual exclusivity, and permanence—the state strengthens civil society and reduces its own role. The future of this country depends on the future of marriage. The future of marriage depends on citizens understanding what it is and why it matters and demanding that government policies support, not undermine, true marriage.
At the heart of the current debates about same-sex marriage are three crucial questions which he delves into:
- What is marriage?
- Why does marriage matter for public policy, and
- What would be the consequences of redefining marriage to exclude sexual complementarity?
Please check out his article as linked above for his response to questions 2 & 3.
Essential principles of marriage
Drawing from Scripture and tradition, David J. Ayers makes these assertions about marriage:
- Marriage is ordained and ordered by God.
- Marriage is a contract covenant.
- Marriage is both religious and civil.
- Marriage is both private and public.
- Marriage requires mutual consent.
- Marriage is for all types of people.
- Marriage is heterosexual and monogamous.
- Marriage cannot be between close family relations.
- Marriage is for life.
You can purchase his book “ A Vibrant Picture of Marriage” HERE.
Now back to the question – Would Jesus Attend a Same-Sex Wedding?
Based on the definition and purpose of marriage as described in God’s Word and what marriage has been in society from the beginning of time, I don’t believe Jesus would attend a same-sex wedding.
Here are the reasons why I come to this conclusion:
- Attending a wedding is a ceremony to join a couple. The guests are there to participate; to witness, to celebrate, to affirm and support the relationship. Would Jesus celebrate, affirm and support a sinful ‘marriage’ that is contrary to His design? Jesus would never celebrate sin.
- Ephesians 5: 11,12 Do not participate in the useless deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
- Based on Biblical truth, marriage is between a male and a female; homosexual union is not a marriage.
- The following statement is often made at wedding ceremonies- “if anyone has any reason that this man and this woman (or in this context, this man and this man or this woman and this woman)- should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace. As a Christian upholding the biblical view of marriage, one would be obligated to speak.
- My convictions about true ‘marriage’ would compel me to decline the invitation regardless of my connection to them, whether family or friends. We are commanded to call people to repentance and this is not something you are likely to do at a wedding. If I was invited to participate in another kind of sin and declined- would I be considered uncompassionate?
- Not going to a gay wedding is not withholding love, it is upholding truth.
- Being loving, caring and considerate of all people regardless of their beliefs is important and Jesus calls us to that. Yes, he did meet with and dine with sinners, however, that is not the same as attending and celebrating a sinful wedding ceremony. Jesus’ interactions with sinners had a specific purpose- to teach them truth about salvation and to show them the ways they were sinful. Jesus never affirmed their sin; He always called them to repentance.
My response to an invitation to an unbiblical wedding would to be to ensure that the couple knows that I care deeply about them but to decline the invitation to attend the wedding ceremony because it would violate my convictions about marriage as defined in the Bible.
“According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self-giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to the wife, and the wife gives herself to the husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.” (Emphasis added.)
~ Wayne Mack
Listen to this excellent short video by Martin Iles: