God designed children and families to benefit from committed fathers and mothers, but society has moved away from that design. As a result, we are witnessing a crisis of Fatherlessness which has contributed to serious consequences for children and society. The effects can be seen in education, poverty, crime, emotional well-being, and the stability of families.
Restoring responsible, loving fatherhood is therefore an important part of restoring healthy families.
God's good design for family: Fathers and Mothers
The nuclear family was designed with a father
and mother in the beginning. It was not man’s idea; it was God’s idea. He designed it this way for very good reasons. He knew that children thrive best with the nurture of both a father and a mother who each contribute very unique benefits to their children.
Throughout Scripture, God reveals His purposes intentionally, and the sequence matters.
The Family- God’s first institution
God’s Word reminds us- the family wasn’t created as one institution among many. It was the very first institution God established, becoming the foundation upon which everything else would eventually be built.
As Raymond at Disciple Blueprint states, Genesis records that foundation with these familiar words:
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, CSB)
Raymond reminds us that this verse describes God’s design for marriage. At the same time, it does something much bigger. It introduces the first human institution. Before there were cities, governments, schools, or even the nation of Israel, God brought one man and one woman together to form a family.
From families came communities, from communities came nations. Everything began at home as God designed.
If we lose sight of that order, we’ll eventually misunderstand how God designed society to function.
Society moves away from God's Design. What contributed to the change?
Prior to the 1960’s, in the US, over 90% of children lived with both married parents. (Wikipedia) However, the widespread social issue of modern fatherlessness began to escalate sharply during the mid-1960’s in Western nations, particularly in the US and Canada. Prior to this time, nuclear families with a mother and father were the norm.
So what happened? There were several Key Drivers of Change.
- The divorce act: In 1968 Canada introduced the divorce act. It, along with the rise of no-fault divorce in the United States in 1969, made legal separation much easier. This contributed to the growing number of one-parent families.
- Cultural shifts: Society began to believe that marriage was not necessary for starting a family resulting in reduced social stigma of unwed parents; acceptance of divorce, cohabitation and single parenthood.
- Economic Impacts: There was a decline in well-paying manufacturing jobs which disproportionately impacted non-college-educated men. This led to delayed marriages and a higher prevalence of single-parent households in marginalized communities.
Other Ways society moved away from God’s Design have been intentional fatherlessness.
In society today, with the help of artificial insemination, women do not need men to have children. In some cases, these homes may have two moms, a same-sex couple. These children are intentionally raised without a biological father.
Additionally, moral, ethical obligations of biological fatherhood are all but gone.
Critically, new social policy has turned away from the ideal of an intact nuclear family toward what we used to call a broken family.
Why do children need Fathers and mothers?
While all moms and dads are different, there is plenty of evidence to show that moms tend to bring more sensitivity and emotion to parenting than dads.
Fathers tend to encourage more problem solving and risk taking than moms.
Recognize that both are very important to the healthy growth and development of your children. Too much of any one good thing can create problems. Being tuned into a child’s emotional life is important but it can be stifling if there is too much effort to protect the child from every bump and bruise that life has to offer.
On the other hand, while learning to take appropriate and necessary risks is important, taking risks that are potentially dangerous may lead to unintended accidents or set children up for needing to feel the rush of a risk accomplished, on a consistent basis.
Impacts of fatherlessness on society
Father-deprivation is a more reliable predictor of criminal activity than race, environment or poverty.
Social Implications of fatherlessness
Fatherlessness is not merely a private family problem. When large numbers of children grow up without an involved father, the effects can extend beyond individual families into the wider community.
In case you doubt that fatherlessness has social implications, Begg provides some very disturbing facts. These are from US stats but Canada is most likely very similar. He writes:
- Do you realize that although America is the richest industrialized nation in the face of God’s earth, that we have a poverty rate which is twice that of any other industrialized nation?
- Do you know that we are the world leader in child poverty and youth homicide? There are more kids killed by other kids in America than in any place in the whole of God’s creation.
- Sixty percent of America’s rapists, 72 percent of adolescent murderers, 70 percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in a home without a father.
- Tonight, four children in ten go to bed in a household where their biological father is absent, and one in every two children will spend at least some time before the age of eighteen living with only one of their biological parents.
From a Biblical perspective, what can we do about the crisis of fatherlessness?
There will be little change, little improvement in this culture until fathers are recognized as being unique and irreplaceable. Alistair Begg
Ultimately, the restoration of God’s good design for families is the only sure hope that the crisis of fatherlessness will be solved.
So, as Alistair Begg states, fathers must take back the very important role that God assigned them – to love and lead their families!
A great website focused on teaching and encouraging dads how to live as a more confident godly dad, who leads his family without regrets is manhoodjourney.org
Biblical Principles for Fathers
Consider these thoughts from an article on the above mentioned site called SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP AND FATHERHOOD:
- Commit to serving the Lord in your household. Be the Spiritual leader. Joshua 24:15
- Partner with your wife faithfully and lovingly. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
- Be a Godly example in your marriage, in your home, in your work, in your social life. James 1:19 1 Timothy 4:12
- Guide your children toward a relationship with Christ through biblical practices such as bible study, prayer, church attendance. Let them see Christ by how you live. Deuteronomy 6:4-9
- Practice humility, when you are wrong, admit it, make it right. Luke 14:11
In Conclusion
You Can Be the Turning Point- Kent Evans writes:
An absent father may be part of your story, but he does not have to be the headline of your legacy.
You are not destined to drift. You are not doomed to repeat abandonment. In Christ, you have a Father who never leaves, a Word that never shifts, and a design for discipleship that spans generations.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5–6). That promise applies to fatherless fathers, too.
One steady generation can interrupt decades of confusion. If you keep showing up, keep repenting, keep learning, and keep leading, your children may one day struggle to imagine what an absent father even feels like.
That is how to break the cycle of fatherlessness: one faithful step at a time.
Most importantly, Society needs to reclaim God’s good design for family!
Prayer of Response
Heavenly Father, Thank you for your perfect design of family. In the beginning, You made a perfect home for humanity but sadly, we have we have strayed far from your design.
I pray that many fathers will begin to love and lead their families with wisdom.
Heavenly Father, I pray for healing for broken lives, fatherless children, many of them young men, to find healing and hope in your love as a Father to them.
Father God, may repentance of neglect of fatherly responsibilities reverse the direction of our culture. We want to see your design for family restored!
We humbly ask for your Holy Spirit to do a work in our lives. Help us to abandon sin and seek You with all our hearts.
We earnestly pray this all in the name of Jesus, our Lord and only Saviour. AMEN
