Excerpt from ~ Billy Graham, Nearing Home
Life, Faith, And Finishing Well
In practical terms how can we impact those who may be separated from us by as much as four or five decades, or thousands of miles? Over the years Ruth and I try to follow several practices in our relationships with our grandchildren (and now our great grand children – 43 and number, as I write this) – although I know we weren’t perfect. Perhaps they will be helpful to you.
Pray Consistently
Pray consistently for your family. God knows their needs far better than you do, and “he is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20)
God is able to do what we cannot do, especially within our families. The old expression, “out of sight, out of mind.” Don’t let that be true of your family; pray for them regularly.
Don’t pray only in general terms (the kind of prayer that vaguely asks God to bless them.) Make your prayers specific, and make them daily. Pray not only that God will keep them safe but that He will guard them from the temptations and evils that assail young people today. Pray that God will give them a desire to do what is right and avoid what is wrong, and to seek His will for their lives as they grow older. Pray about any decisions you know they will be making or difficulties you know they are facing. Let them know you are praying for them, not because you were trying to intrude in their lives because you love them and care deeply about what happens to them. Most of all, pray that they will open their hearts and lives and become His followers.
Keep in Touch
Sometimes consistent communication isn’t easy; families become scattered, and we also have to avoid giving the impression that we are trying to interfere in their private lives. But take advantage of whatever opportunities you do have. In some families this may come daily; in others, it is limited to the occasional phone call or a birthday greeting. I know grandparents who have gone out of their way to learn how to email or to register online on one of the new social media sites because it gives them an opportunity to stay in touch with their grandchildren.
It is important as well to let them know you love them and care deeply about what happens to them. Not long ago as I was waiting for a doctors appointment, a woman casually asked me if I had any grandchildren. When I told her I had 19, she gasped in horror. .”19 she exclaimed. How do you stand it? We have two, and they drive me crazy. I can’t imagine having to put up with 19!” Her reaction amused me at first, but it also saddend me. Your grandchildren may not dress the way you wish they would or listen to your kind of music, but God gave them to you, and he loves them. They are one of God’s gifts to you, so let them know you love them, both by your words and by your actions.
Encourage Them
The Bible says, “Encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) It is tempting to lecture our grandchildren or tell them what we think they are doing wrong, and there may be a place for that occasionally. But don’t major in the negatives! They need to know we love them, and most of all that God loves them. Encourage them when they deserve it, and when they don’t, encourage them to think about taking a different path. Learn, too, to “forgive and forget” if they are thoughtless or do something that hurts us.
At the same time, avoid the pitfalls. For example, it is easy to show favoritism, even in our families. We may relate to tone grandchild more than another and unconsciously spend more time with that one or give him or her more gifts. But the Bible says, “Do nothing out of favoritism” (1 Timothy 5:21) God made each of them, and He loves each of them-and so should we. Our loving and fair treatment of each should build up their faith in themselves and in God.
Remember Your Place
We are not our grandchildren’s parents, and we have to be careful not to step over the line and create tension by interfering with their parents’ work in their lives. We also need to avoid causing tension or conflict by taking sides in family disputes. Let the Bible’s admonition be your guide: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)
Be an Example
Remember, your children and grandchildren learn more about you through observing your actions and attitudes. Do they see Christ in you? Will they remember you as someone who was a living example of His compassion and love? Even when hard times come or the disabilities of old age overtake you, will they recall your underlying peace and joy in their midst? May they remember you as someone whose life was changed by Jesus Christ-just as theirs can be.
