The Misuse of Our Tongue

James 3: 1-12

It is safe to say that everyone struggles with the use of their tongue.

We can use our words for good or for harm and when we use them to harm others, whether intentionally or not, the result is the same. Relationships become strained and walls are erected.

James has a lot to say about the tongue.

To be a teacher (this word refers to a person who functions in an official teaching or preaching capacity) was a highly valued and respected profession in Jewish culture. James warned  teachers to be aware of the great responsibility of being a teacher of God’s word as they would be judged more strictly.

We all stumble, we all wish we could take our words back sometimes; we sometimes in anger,  speak without thinking about our words and how they pierce another’s soul. 

Here is a good visual that I have seen using a tube of toothpaste that illustrates the difficulty of retrieving harmful words we sometimes say.

When toothpaste is squeezed  from a tube and you then try to put that toothpaste back in the tube, you realize it is pretty much impossible. 

We know the saying – “What goes up, must come down,” but in this case what came out does not just go back in!  Our words are very much like this squeezed out toothpaste.

Misuse of the tongue can be both in what we say and what we do not say. Offering a good apology for harmful words it absolutely needed.

A good apology is not just: 

• Expressing Regret – “I’m sorry”

A genuine apology should also include:

• Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong”
• Making Restitution- “What can I do to make it right?”
• Genuinely Repenting- “I’ll try not to do that again.”
• Requesting Forgiveness – Will you please forgive me?”

 These 5 steps to a good apology are taken from “The Five Languages of Apology” How to experience Healing in All your Relationships by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.

James made these comparisons about the tongue: James 3:3-5

• the tongue is like a raging fire in its ability to damage.
• the tongue is like a very small rudder on a ship which can steer the direction of a ship even in strong winds.
• the tongue can not be tamed in the same way as man tames all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures. The tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 

Some ways we misuse our tongue is by gossiping, putting others down, bragging, manipulating, lying, teaching lies, exaggerating, complaining and flattering. James 3: 9-12 talks about how from the same mouth come blessing and cursing and this should not be!

The tongue can corrupt the whole person, set the whole course of his life on a destructive path. Proverbs 18:21  Only God,  as we submit our lives to Him,  by His power enables us to control our tongue. Ephesians 4:29

Bible Verses that speak about controlling the tongue:

Proverbs 15:28 ;  Proverbs 21:23; Colossians 3:8;  Colossians 4:6  Psalm 119:11; Ephesians 4:31-32; Proverbs 15:1-4; 1 Peter 3:10

Prayer of Response:

Holy God, as I come into your presence right now, I confess that I have misused my tongue and have caused harm to others.

I know that words can not be taken back but I can offer a proper apology and ask for forgiveness.

I pray pride will not stand in the way of me making my heart right with you and anyone I have harmed by my words.

Psalm 119:57-60 expresses the desire of my heart and I pray that will always be so.

I pray in the Wonderful name of Jesus.

Amen